Wednesday, October 13

Assistance for the Undecided

So you don't know who to vote for. Well, listen to me, the pseudo-omniscient ... Err ... Pseudo-polymathic host blogger just telling you to vote for Bush ain't good enough? Ok, ok, I'll go ahead and give you a few reasons.

GWOT: that's Global War on Terror for the uninformed (not un-uniformed, they already know about it). Kerry thinks the GWOT is all a big bother and he wants to get back to life as it was, you know like 9/10 and before. He wants to catch OBL and maybe a few more al-Qaeda guys. When he's bagged the legal limit (according to the best "global tests") he'll quietly pull our troops home, and get back to life as it was pre-9/11. That is to say, he'll be tormenting conservatives. 9/11 wasn't a defining moment for him. He didn't arrive at the (correct) conclusions that America had been living in something of a fantasy-land. He thinks that, in our global economy, the two oceans separating us from the other continents is sufficient to protect us from all overseas violence. If you agree with Kerry, by all means, vote for him if you can figure out those pesky voting machines. Bush, on the other hand, thinks that it would be a much better world if we Americans devote a few years (decade?) to improving the odor in our world. That is to say, if you are running a government that sponsors, or does not actively prosecute terrorist organizations, you get put on a little list. When your name comes up on that list, we will come calling. You (or your survivors) will shortly be living in a constitutional democracy whether you like it or not.

Taxes: Ya like paying taxes? When you get rich, do want the IRS to really sock it to you. If you answer yes, vote Kerry. If we raise taxes to 100% will we collect more? (answer: no). If we raise taxes will we raise more money? (answer: nobody knows). If we raise taxes and cripple the economy, will we collect more? (answer no). If we raise taxes will you take home more money? (answer: no) If Kerry cripples the economy it won't personally affect him. Kerry almost certainly will cripple the economy, so vote Bush.

Moral Issues (Abortion, Stem-Cell Research, ...): Kerry says his personal ethical beliefs should not be taken into account when he makes policy. Which leaves you to wonder, how the f**k he ever makes up his mind. After further examination however, you might have noticed, he rarely does make up his mind. Putting two and two together, it may occur to you that these two items are connected. Bush is an evangelical Christian. He does believe that his ethics come into play when making policy. He isn't a jellyfish when it comes to moral decisions. If you think this might be a good thing, vote for Bush. If you don't, read Ms Penman's book, "When Christ and his Saints Slept", a work of historical fiction covering the reign of King Stephen (of England). King Stephen also was a jelly-fish. Read the book, think Kerry when you read about Stephen, then vote for Bush.